Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
