Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
