Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm really busy with my period
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