This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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