Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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