"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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