this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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