my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
