I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How external is "for external use only"?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
