I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
