Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
