Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
that's an acceptable place to lick
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
