Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
