Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
