i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
