lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I party with great urgency now.
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