my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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