dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
