I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize