I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
