When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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