'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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