you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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