I puked a lego.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
