Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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