There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
