did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
