I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Alive.
So much puke
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
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