I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
