Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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