I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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