lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We left an ass print on the piano.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
