Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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