everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
