I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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