do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
