You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize