Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
