Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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