went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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