i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
