Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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