oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
