Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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