I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
