You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
