ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Randomize
