I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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