She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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