The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
