I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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