So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
