you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize