don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How does one acquire holy water?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
