allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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