It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
