he wants to bone in the snuggie
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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