You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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