Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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